Outside the Box
by xx.trelane
Summary: A collection of really short, one shot, Murdock drabbles.
1. Trash Day

**Trash** **Day** .

**Character**(**s**): Murdock, Face, and possibly others.

**Pairings **(**if any**): None.

**Arthor's notes**: I saw the quote 'keep the earth clean, this isn't uranus' on a t-shirt and thought, 'this is so Murdock'. lmfao.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing.

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Passing by, on a garbage truck, both Faceman and Murdock were going as garbagemen for an assignment, reguarding their new 'employer, Murdock stood proudly on the outside of the truck with a smug look on his face, grinning goofyly at Face, whom rolled his eyes.

"Today is a good day to rid the Earth of germs. You know, the kind that get inside your skin, crawl up in your mind and plant little bugs inside you, that make you howl at the moon?"

Face gave a confused look, which was normal. "What are you talking about Murdock?" he asked, as the truck had stopped.

As they were outside a house, with a man, trashy and really dirty looking. He was sitting at the curb, with a hamburger in hand.

"I feel, as if I am doing my duty to clean the Earth of demon germs." Murdock nodded. He eyed the man with the hamburger, how had finished eating. The disgustingly dirty man tossed the wrapper on the ground.

Murdock's eyes widdened as he jumped off the truck. "How dare you sir!"

Face rolled his eyes. "Oh God, not again." he groaned.

"Do you know that the Earth is going to very annoyed and upset on what you are doing to her?" Murdock questioned the man.

The man raised an eyebrow to Murdock. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Murdock picked up the paper. "The Earth is my buddy, and if you hurt her again like this, I shall put you to shame!!"

"What planet are you from?" the man yelled, annoyed beyond annoyed.

Murdock throw the wrapper into the back of the truck, as Face was dumping the trashcan into the back of the truck.

"Murdock...come one, we've gotta get back to work."

Jumping back onto the truck, Murdock pointed at the man; "Keep the Earth clean this isn't Uranus!"


	2. The Sprinkler

**The** **Sprinker**.

**Character**(**s**): Murdock and BA.

**Pairings **(**if any**): None.

**Arthor's notes**: I blame Jon Reep from_ Last Comic Standing _for the joke and the idea to write about it. xD

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing.

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It was a nice sunny summer day, not a cloud in the sky. Everything was quiet, and BA liked it that way, expecally when he was paired with Murdock, to get parts to build whatever was necessary that Hannibal needed. Walking along the sidewalk, BA scoffed as Murdock kept whistling 'Three Blind Mice', skipping as he did so.

"Crazy fool." BA murmered under his breath, rolling his eyes at the insane man skipping next to him.

They kept walking until they came across a nice little white and red brick house, a slightly fancy one at that. Murdock stopped instantly. BA arched an eyebrow.

"What are you looking at fool?" he barked.

Murdock shot BA a glance and placed a finger to his lips. "Shhhhhh! The sprinkler is talkin' to me, BA."

BA snarled. "Man, that sprinkler ain't talking to you, fool!"

"It is too BA, you wanna know what it's sayin'?"

BA didn't answer, he didn't want to hear it. Murdock shrugged and told him anyways.

"It sayin' 'Jump through me! Please jump through me!'." he nodded, pointing toward the sprinker, that was moving back and forth, shooting lines of water like a hand with fingers. (**A//N**:It was one of those ones you buy at Wal-Mart.)

BA knew what was coming. "Don't you even think about it Murdock! I'll knock your teeth out fool!" he threatend, but it did no good. Murdock had raced toward the sprinkler, jumping over it, with a leg out infront, he jumped.

"Yahoo!!!" he yelled, with a wide smile on his face. He quickly looked down at his pants. Lifting is leg up, he pointed to the crotch of his pants.

"Hey BA! Look! I got my crotch wet!" he giggled loudly to himself, as he glanced down at his leg up in the air, as the sprinkler was still going, get his pants leg wet. He shrugged and motioned for BA to come over, which he didn't. BA refused, wanting nothing to do with this.

"Hell no fool! I ain't coming over there!"

"Aww...come one BA!" Murdock whined. "...you can get your crotch wet too!"


	3. Ugly Moves

**Ugly** **Moves**.

**Character**(**s**): Murdock, Hannibal, and a OC.

**Pairings **(**if any**): Implied MudockXOC

**Arthor's notes**: I watched _Wild Hogs_, (great movie, a must see.) and this line inspired me. Not the best, but oh well.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing, but Hope, she's mine.

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"Go ask her to dance Murdock."

"I dunno Colonel, you know the music talks to me."

Lighting up a cigar, Hannibal watched as everyone around them danced. He ignored Murdock's comment about the music 'talking to him'. The Festival of Apples, was the place where they were to act on their next mission. Help out some farmers get their fair share of the money from their profits, that local marketers where taking.

His eyes drifted to his neice, Hope, whom had tagged alongwith them, helping Face out with some con-work. She was dancing with no one in particular. He noticed Murdock staring at her.

"Well," he began, take a puff of the cigar. "...you better ask her before someone else does."

Murdock looked at the white haired man next to him, huffing on his cigar. "Colonel," he stated, as Hannibal looked at him. "You know the music moves me..." he paused, as his eyes drifted to Hope, as Hannibal's did the same thing. "...but it moves me ugly."

"Well...I doubt she'll care. If I know her, which I do, she won't mind a bit, now go on, ask her, that's an order." he gave a cigar filled smile.

"Right Colonel." Murdock saluted as he marched over to Hannibal's neice.

Hannibal watched as the two spoke, as Hope nodded to Murdock's purposal. The two began to dance. Everything was fine.

"Moves you ugly..." Hannibal muttered as he chuckled to himself, second guessing what Murdock had told him.

He had spoke to soon. As he glanced up at the couple dancing. Murdock had began to randomly dance like a sprinkler and jerking around uncontrolably. Looking really goofy as he did so. Running around in circles, before tripping right into a nearby tablel, which broke instantly, as he fell to the ground.

Hope went to help him, as did Hannibal.

"Murdock! Are you alright?" she asked.

Hannibal looked at both. "He'll be fine, the music just had a _hold_ of him."


	4. The War On Cookieism

**The** **War** **On** **Cookie**-**ism**.

**Character**(**s**): All members of the A Team and a mention of a random person.

**Pairings **(**if any**): None.

**Arthor's notes**: I want a cookie. Seriously. And yeah, cookie-ism isn't a real word, but it should be. lmfao.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing.

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"Okay, listen up, everyone know the plan?" Hannibal looked around the small room, which was inside a little apartment. Well hidden on the 3rd floor. Puffing on his cigar, he waited for one of his 'men' to speak up.

"So you're saying, we just get Mrs. Franks to let them in her house, we pretend to be maids, and let them go through her stuff?" Face moaned. "I dunno about this, it sounds kinda lame, Hannibal."

BA snarled, folding his arms, as he saw Murdock, prowling around a cookie jar, that Mrs. Franks had left for them, as a snack.

"No, Face. What I am saying is 'we hide, while they look through Mrs. Franks things, as myself and Murdock are dressed like maids. They won't know it's us. Trust me."

Murdock, whom was still digging into the cookie-jar, began to inspect it. "Do you think, that it's possible, that there is a little civilization of people in this cookie?" he asked to no one in particular.

"Captain," Hannibal stated. "...do you get all that?" not hearing Murdock's completely random cookie comment.

"I'm confused Colonel..." the pilot said, inspecting the cookie. "...I don't want to eat a whole plethora of tiny little cookie-people. I don't want to invade their country!"

"There ain't nobody living in that cookie fool! It's just a damn cookie!" BA snapped.

Murdock glanced over at BA, "Now, BA, don't declare war on them, they might have weapon's of mass-cookie-destruction." he petted the cookie, as he held it in his hand. He paused. "Think about it! We must do something to end this war on mass cookie-ism!"


	5. Grow Up

**Grow** **Up**.

**Character**(**s**): Murdock, Face, and a meniton of an OC.

**Pairings **(**if any**): Implied MurdockXOC.

**Arthor's notes**: 'Growing old is mandatory. Growing up in optional.'- that is so true! Had to have a little higher rating, 'cause in mentions sex. --;;

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing. Hope is mine though.

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Face rolled over, as he tried to get some sleep, but it did no good. Murdock, had jumped at the foot of his bed, a book, teddy bear, and a blanket in hand. Groaning, he looked over to the desk next to him, which read. **3:20 am**.

_I'm going to kill him._

"Murdock..." Face muttered loudly, looking at him, "What are you doing?"

"I...I couldn't sleep Faceman." Murdock nodded, hugging the little fuzzy bear.

"What is it now?"

"There's a monster under my bed, and it's trying to eat me and little Broomy here." he said, petting the bear, which Murdock called Broomy.

"Murdock...I am not checking under your bed for monsters...you're a grown man." he rolled his eyes, rolling over, trying to go to bed again.

"But...Hope does!" Murdock insisted. "She always does, and she gives me animal crackers, some milk, and reads me a bedtime story, before we 'wrestle'."

Face arched an eyebrow. _I didn't want to know about that. I did not want to hear that._ The thought of Murdock and Hannibal's niece sleeping together sent chills through his body. "Wrestle? Murdock, do you even know what you're doing when you two do that?"

Murdock nodded. "Of course! I'm not stupid Face." he chuckled.

"Then what is it?" Face said, really wanting to hear Murdock's off the wall explanation of sex.

"Well..." Murdock began. "...when to people love each other every much..."

_I do not need to hear this from Murdock, of all people._


	6. Animal Crackers

**Animal** **Crackers**.

**Character**(**s**): Murdock and an OC.

**Pairings **(**if any**): MurdockXOC

**Arthor's notes**: Just in an odd fluff moment.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing, but Hope.

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Standing in the field, looking around, slightly lost. He had be released. He didn't really feel different, but yet they released him. The wheat in the field blowed in the wind, as he saw her there, standing with a smile on her face. A grin slowly formed on his face.

He fixed his scarf, made sure all the buttons on his jacket were buttoned, fixed his pilotining helmet, as his goggles laid ontop of them.

Taking a breath, he smiled and walked toward her. Still, he felt no different since they released him.

"Be careful." the brown-haired beauty said softly.

"I'll try." he replied, he said, still fixing his scarf.

She smiled and helped him. "Stop it, you look fine, plus, no one will be looking at you when you're up there." she grinned.

He shrugged. "Well...still..."

"I'm gonna miss you." she uttered, looking down, sadly.

He smiled just a bit. "Me too." now taking her hands in his, as he stood infront of her. He nuzzled his nose to her check, a small smile on his face.

She looked at him, and giggled softly. _Why is she giggling? Oh well...it doesn't matter._

"I'm gonna miss you too. I'm gonna miss a lot of things about you. About being here." he stated, still nuzzling her with his nose.

With one of his hands, he tried to dig inside her pockets. Still, he didn't feel any different.

She raused an eyebrow. "Murdock, what are you doing?" she questoned.

In a low and innocent voice, he , "Animal crackers. Hope, I want animal crackers."

"Animal crackers?" she asked, as she looked down, to see him digging in her left coatpocket.

He nodded. "Uh-huh. Animal crackers."

She sighed, now petting his head. She got into her right pocket and pulled out the little bag, he was searching for. He still felt no different, but the truth was, he was different. He was sane, well atleast by medical standards. But to everyone that knew him, he was still 'Crazy Murdock'.

His eye lit up, upon seeing the bag of animal crackers.

"Animal crackers!" he grinned brightly, opening his mouth, wanting her to feed him.

She rolled her eyes, and smiled. Feeding him one.

"More please." he mumbled.

She fed him more. His eyes lit up more.

"I'm coo-coo for animal crackers!!" he said, jumping in his place, as he places his hands to her shoulders, before kissing her. He puffed out his chest, fixed his sarf, pulled his goggles down and pointed to the plane.

"Up up and away web!" he jumped in the air and ran toward the plane. Stopping while he climbed inside, he waved to her.

Hope just shook her head. "And they think he's normal now? They must be kidding. right?"


	7. Bed Hunting

**Bed** **Hunting**.

**Character**(**s**): Murdock [as the Range Rider and a random boy.

**Pairings **(**if any**): None.

**Arthor's notes**: Haha. Inspired, once again, by Jon Reep. Murdock's Range Rider personality, seems like the perfect fit for this.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing.

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Standing infront of the mirror, his chaps on, cowboy hat on his head, he bucklet he belt with his two guns, safetly in their holtsers. Murdock smiled, as, in his eyes, The Range Rider smiled back at him.

Out of the corner of his eyes, he had caught glance of a little boy looking in on him. Taking his gun out of it's holster, he motioned for the boy to come in.

"Come on in, little buddy." the Range Rider began, as the boy walked in, giving Murdock a curious look. "You see this, this isn't a toy little muchacho." he said, waving the gun around the boys face, to show him.

The boy gave a confused look. He was slightly worried, and frightened, but remained quiet.

"It should only be handled by profess-" just then, there was a loud BANG! The boy jumped, as did Murdock, as the gun had gone off.

"What the..." the boy asked, confused and scared to death.

Murdock rasied an eyebrow, looking behind him, he saw that the waterbed was spouting wate out like crazy. He looked toward the boy, and slowly placed the gun back into its holster. Nodding at him.

"You saw the bed sneak up on me."


	8. Cheerios

**Cheerios**.

**Character**(**s**): Murdock and Face.

**Pairings **(**if any**): None.

**Arthor's notes**: Inspired by Family Guy. My shortest fic. Ever.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing.

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Sitting at a table, Murdock, ate his cereal. Face, who was drinking his coffee read the newspaper, glanced up at the pilot.

"Oh my God Face! I am recieving a message in my Alphabits!"

Face just looked at Murdock. "What does it say?" he asked.

"Ooooooooo?' Murdock said, lifting his spoon.

Face rolled his eyes. "Murdock, your eating Cheerios."


	9. Invisible

**Invisible**.

**Character**(**s**): Murdock, Face, BA, and an OC.

**Pairings **(**if any**): You know the drill. Implied MurdockXOC.

**Arthor's notes**: Inspired by the movie 'Mystery Men'.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing but Hope, she's mine.

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"I am invisible, like Suran Wrap. Clear, shinny, see-through and all plastic like."

Face, Hope, and BA could hear Murdock muttering to himself, as he hid away in the little room as they watched the movie, awaiting for Hannibal to return from meeting with some new clients.

"Want some more popcorn BA?" Hope asked.

BA nodded and took the bowl in his hands and grabbed a handfull. "Thanks Hope."

"You're welcome BA." she replied, turning to Face. "Want some?"

Face shook his head 'no'. "I'm trying to watch my figure." he joked.

Murdock peered his head from the doorway. Looking to the left and then to the right. He tip toed into the room, which had caught BA's glance. He jumped out in front of his 3 friends.

"Hey guys, I'm invisible, can you see me?"

Before anyone had a chance to answer, BA got up. "Oh hell no you crazy ass fool!" he yelled before storming out of the room.

Face and Hope's mouths dropped to the floor. Murdock watched as BA stormed out of the room, slightly confused.

"Well, can ya'll se me?"

"Yeah...and Murdie...you're...well, naked..." Hope said, in a slightly worried and confused voice.

Murdock just nodded.

"For the love of all things holy. Murdock, please put some clothes on!" Face said, shielding his eyes from his friends naked-ness.

Murdock just frown and folded his arms, before storming back into the room, slightly upset. "Well, if I had clothes on, you'd see my clothes floating around, as if they had a mind of there own!"

Once inside the room, he glared at his clothing that was on the floor and bed. "Don't even think about it, 'cause I know how you pants think." he commented, now putting his pants on.


	10. Christmas

**Being** **Good**.

**Character**(**s**): Read it.

**Pairings **(**if any**): Implied MurdockXOC

**Arthor's notes**: I haven't updated this in soo long. I wrote this on Christmas, but never got arround to uploading this.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing but Hope.

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Captain HM Murdock waited quietly in line at the local mall. It was packed full, because it was Christmas Eve. BA and Faceman were off on their own to do Christmas shopping. Hope, Murdock's girlfriend stood next to him, along with her uncle Hannibal.

"Oh man, I can't wait to see Santa Claus." Murdock grinned. Excited beyond excited, as he rubbed his hands together. He glanced over the little kids heads infront of him, before loking at Hope and Hannibal. "What about you Hope? You wanna see Santa?" he asked.

The brunette shrugged, smiling as she pushed the long wavy of hair that was resting on her shoulder, behind it. "I guess so." she smiled.

"Coolios." he stated, with a huge grin on his face.

Hannibal looked at Murdock. "Murdock," he began, as he pointed to the line, which they were now next in line to see Santa Claus. "Your up."

Murdock looked around and smiled. "Yay!" he grinned, as he made his way to the mall Santa.

Santa arched an eyebrow. "Umm...sir, aren't you a bit big for comin' to see Santa?" he asked.

"No, no Santa, erm, Mister Claus." Murdock replied.

Santa sighed deeply. _Why do I even bother._ "Alright, what's your name Sir?" he asked, as Murdock sat on his knee.

"My name is Murdock."

"Well...Mister Murdock, have you been a good boy this year?"

Murdock shook his head 'no'. "No Santa."

Santa arched an eyebrow and sighed. "What did you do?"

Murdock wasted no time telling this Santa what he did. "Well, I clipped a plane in Mexico, I shot at some MP's, I escaped from the nut house, and I tried to make babies with my girlfriend."

Santa looked at him, shocked to hear all of this, but Murdock continued.

"But I tried really hard to be a good kid Santa, I really did."

Santa gave a confused look at Murdock. "Really? What happened to make you do all of these thing?"

Murdock nodded and gave an innocent smile. "I got bored."


End file.
